I have decided to move this blog to http://hobbymonger.wordpress.com/
Hope i catch you guys there.......
Monday, October 12, 2009
This Blog Is Now Defunct!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I Voted!
Iam ashamed to revel that it took me 8 years to realize that the change i wanted was only possible if i become the part of the change. Its too long a time for such a realization, but atleast i did it now. This time i was determined to cast my vote so i traveled to Hyderabad. I always thought that all politicians were corrupt and uneducated and can never make a good leaders. This was my excuse for all these years for not voting. This time when i really took the effort to understand the candidates and their manifestos it became clear that one need not be highly educated to do good for the people. Education is needed, but more importantly the vision to tackle the problems that lies ahead. Giving away 10kg free rice or a color tv is NOT the solution this nation needs. We need real solutions. If we are to bring up the lower class of people are we in a position to give them jobs. What does one need to do to generate jobs? How are we to clear all the debts we owe to World Bank? I found it rather interesting when various candidates put their ideas. One thing that was missing is the clear in depth goals to achieve all what is promised. I guess i need to realize that the political scene is slowly turning for the better. Iam an optimistic person, but i believe this election will NOT change many of our problems. It will take time for the political scene to change. But iam sure i will see a day when i press that button i know that my country would see a positive change. Until that day i will not lose hope and continue to vote for the candidates i believe in.
Well, I did it!Just one last thing i liked to share. We (Me & my family) went to the polling booth to find that there was long queue and badly arranged. We had to stand in sun for 1 hour before we got the chance to vote. I hate standing in queues but that does not mean i break queues, i generally avoid such places. This is the first time in my life i stood in the queue and was determined to cast my vote. It may sound silly, but iam really proud of myself. Another wonderful thing i saw in that polling booth was a queue which was mix of rich/poor, castes and religion. Its ironic in a way, because it is this place we all come together and vote for a change that would eventually eradicate the differences between us. I HOPE that day will come soon!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
A Program That Evaluates Men's Dating Chances
/media/disk/1.c.h /*This program can be compiled using gcc (Goofed up Crap Compiler) only.
The the functions that dont have definitions are found in the dynamic lib still_need_a_lib.so.
The program code flow starts with "maintain_steady_girlfriends()".
Use cscope to navigate the code ;)*/
#include <onlyfordementedminds.h>
#ifdef HAVE_ANY_STUPID_DEGREE
#include <greatfuture.h>
#endif
#include <onlyhotchicks.h>
#include <bollywood.h>
#include <tollywood.h>
#include <gayinfo.h>
#include <weirdos.h>
#include <looks.h>
#define VIRGIN_HONEYPOT -1
#define NEED_ONLY_POGOSTICK 0
#define SRK_TO_RESCUE 1
#define UNDER_BRIT_STD 2
struct new_girl_t
{
int looks; /*macros defined in looks.h*/
int shape[3]; /*Covering all the imp size*/
short long_legs; /*Its a flag*/
int noise_threshold; /*Found in any universal lib*/
};
/*main()*/
intention maintain_steady_girlfriends(intention argc, characteristics *argv[])
{
if (argc != 2) {
printf("Dude, ur weird! this will never happen for you! Hail Virginity\n");
return VIRGIN_HONEYPOT;
}
if (!strcmp(argv[0], "female")) {
printf("Right on track buddy! happy hunting!\n");
return(poor_chap_has_chance());
} else if (!strcmp(argv[0], "male")) {
printf("Please refer program written by Elton John\n");
return NEED_ONLY_POGOSTICK;
} else if (!strcmp(argv[0], "both")) {
printf("Swinging both ways huh!\n");
return(try_new_experiment());
} else {
printf("By any chance you know SRK?\n");
return SRK_TO_RESCUE;
}
}
int poor_chap_has_chance() {
char weird_answer;
int looks, wallet;
printf("Have you crossed the age of 12?\n");
weird_answer = (unsigned char *)getc(stdin);
if (weird_answer == 'n') {
printf("Have patience, need to mature, come back later you sick brat!\n");
return UNDER_BRIT_STD;
} else {
printf("Incase you were wondering, British standard is 12 and min \
needed to qualify as manhood\n");
printf("Still wondering? Watch tv you dumbass, 12 year old boy had a baby\n");
}
printf("How you look? and how big is your wallet?\n");
scanf("%d %d", &looks, &wallet);
switch(looks) {
case THIN_LIZARD_FACE_WITH_TWO_DRUMSTICKS_SHOVED_UP_HIS_ASS:
need_advice_desperately(UGLINESS_PERSONIFIED);
return FAIL_TO_SECURE_EVEN_LOCK;
case HEAD_AND_BUTT_INTERCHANGED_POSITION:
need_advice_desperately(SALMAN_LOOKALIKE);
return FAILED_AT_BODY_MASS_COMPARISON_WITH_SALMAN;
case BEARD_IN_NO_MANS_LAND:
need_advice_desperately(WHEN_STINK_TAKES_ON_DEO);
return FAILURE_OF_AXE_EFFECT;
case FACE_RESEMBLING_DAEMON_IN_LEFT_HAND_OF_GODDESS_KALI:
beyond_repairs(LAST_CHANCE_CONVERT_TO_OTHER_RELIGION);
return MIGHT_ASWELL_CHOOSE_MALE_PREF;
case WEARING_GOGGLES_THAT_PROJECTS_FACE_MAGNIFIED:
need_advice_desperately(CALL_ROY_ORBISON);
return IF_HE_CAN_SO_CAN_YOU_TRY_AGAIN_LATER;
case LARRY_DAVID_LOOK:
beyond_repairs(HOLD_ON_TO_WHAT_YOU_GOT);
return REMEMBER_SALMAN_RUSHDIE;
case WATERMELON_WITH_POTATO_ON_TOP:
need_advice_desperately(HOW_TO_REVERSE_THE_POSITION);
return NO_GYM_CAN_CURE_YOU;
case SOUTH_INDIAN_HERO_LOOKS:
beyond_repairs(FIND_NAMITHA);
return CONSULT_VIJAYKANTH;
case NORTH_INDIAN_HERO_LOOKS:
beyond_repairs(DIE_YOUR_HAIR_BROWN_AND_LIE_YOUR_ARE_AMITABH);
return ONLY_VOICE_MATTERS;
case default:
return(still_some_scope(wallet));
}
}
int still_some_scope(interesting wallet) {
char weird_answer;
int no_stopping_me = 0;
struct new_girl_t *new_girl;
printf("Congratulations! You passed the important test, rest of the test \
will surely eliminate you. Have a nice day!\n");
if(!wallet) {
printf("Hold it right there!! If you aint got no money then there \
aint no honey\n");
return STEAL_FROM_A_BANK;
}
if (wallet <= WOMEN_WHO_HATE_SHOPPING_THRESHOLD) {
printf("You got yourself a grandma who cant walk!\n");
return TRY_AGAIN_AFTER_SHE_DIES;
}
if (wallet <= WOMEN_WHO_EAT_LESS_AND_GROW_FAT_THRESHOLD) {
printf("You got yourself a road roller, do a service to city roads will ya?\n");
return SPEND_ON_GYM_EQUIPMENTS;
}
if (wallet <= WOMEN_WHO_CELEBRATE_VDAY_ONCE_A_MONTH) {
printf("Atleast you have a bike?\n");
weird_answer = (unsigned char *)getc(stdin);
if(weird_answer == 'n') {
printf("Why are you even trying this?\n");
return VIRGIN_HONEYPOT;
} else {
printf("You got yourself a wife (+) nagging!\n");
return POINT_OF_NO_RETURN;
}
}
if (wallet > ALL_SHE_CAN_EAT_DRINK && wallet > ALL_SHE_CAN_SHOP && wallet > \
ALL_HER_MOBILE_BILLS && wallet > ALL_MUSHY_MOVIES_SHE_CAN_SEE && wallet > \
ALL_GIFTS_SHE_EXPECTS && wallet == BUY_A_COSMETICS_FACTORY) {
printf("Got a high end car?\n");
weird_answer = (unsigned char *)getc(stdin);
if(weird_answer == 'n') { /*Pessimistic thinking*/
printf("Your chances are more if you do have one!\n");
return BORROW_YOUR_FRIENDS_CAR_AND_SHOWOFF_AS_YOUR_OWN
} else {
printf("Welcome To The Big League\n");
while (no_stopping_me != I_CANT_TAKE_THIS_ANYMORE) {
new_girl = get_new_girl(BEST_IN_THE_LOT);
if(compare_girl(new_girl, GIRL_LIKE_MONICA_BELLUCCI))
add_to_linked_list_with_hash(new_girl,
set_hash_val("highest priority"));
else if(compare_girl(new_girl, AVG_LOOK_BODY_PERFECT))
add_to_linked_list_with_hash(new_girl,
set_hash_val("body priority"));
else if(compare_girl(new_girl, HOT_LOOKS_BIG_BRAIN))
add_to_linked_list_with_hash(new_girl,
set_hash_val("approach with caution"));
else if(compare_girl(new_girl, HOT_LOOKS_NO_BRAIN))
add_to_linked_list_with_hash(new_girl,
set_hash_val("approach for all booze
party"));
else if(compare_girl(new_girl, HOT_GIRL_TALKS_A_LOT))
add_to_linked_list_with_hash(new_girl,
set_hash_val("only for dance floor with
loud music"));
else if(compare_girl(new_girl, HOT_GIRL_WITH_MARTIAL_ARTS_SKILLS)) {
free(new_girl);
printf("Save your balls dude!\n");
} else {
free(new_girl);
}
no_stopping_me++;
}
iterate_linked_list_based_on_hash_value(create_new_detached_process_let_main_end());
return WE_HAVE_A_WINNER;
}
} else {
printf("You got yourself a wife (-) nagging till age of 40\n");
return PRAY_TO_GOD_AND_COSMETIC_COMPANY_TO_KEEP_HER_IN_20'S_FOREVER;
}
}
int try_new_experiment() {
int mood;
char *do_you_get_the_pun;
printf("We cannot classify you\n");
printf("Your mood please?\n");
scanf("%d", &mood);
switch(mood) {
case FEMALE:
return(poor_chap_has_chance());
case MALE:
return NEED_ONLY_POGOSTICK;
case BOTH:
/*NOTE FOR DUMMIES: do_you_get_the_pun pointer is not
* allocated any memory .Ie. When a guy is in mood for
* both MALE and FEMALE at the same time, it will result
* in SEGFAULT. */
strcpy(do_you_get_the_pun, "learn c first! then chase skirts");
return IF_ONLY_WE_COULD_RETURN
}
The interesting thing would be to see who are nerds that can find syntax and logical
issues in the program.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A Strange Incident In Railway Station
I was in the Coimbatore railway station to catch a train back to Bangalore when a strange incident happened. I could not locate the platform where the train would come so i asked a police man standing nearby. Forgetting that i was in Tamil Nadu i asked him in Hindi. Bewildered, the police man answered back in fluent English that i would find the train in 4th platform. Embarrassed with my wrong perception that police men are uneducated, i walked on to the platform. After wandering aimlessly in the platform, a middle aged man looking like a small barrel with shirt on it approached me and asked if i needed any help. I was confused and little suspicious of the courtesy shown by this stranger refused the kind gesture. This was the second time i replied back to someone in English although knowing the native language. I soon realized that he was there for money and would squeeze out as much money as possible assuming that i was a stranger to this part of the country. At this point i decided to play along and see what all he would do to get money. I also decided that i would maintain "only English" image. When it was time to get into the train compartment, he pushed himself into the crowd and made way for me to enter the compartment. I soon settled down and knew that it was time for give-me-money talk. To my surprise he wished me a happy journey and walked away. I couldn't help asking him what this is all about. This time, to his surprise, i spoke to him in Tamil asking him why he was so courteous? After a smile he said that he was working for the Tourism department of TN and his job was to help non-locals from getting cheated. The police man i spoke to earlier had asked him to help me as didn't look like a person from this part of the country. It was a very different experience and something i will remember for a long time. Now iam curious if this happens in other cities also?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
An Account Of Winter Trek-08 Part 4
Extended Vacation (Kugti & Amritsar)
Bharmour: A small town near Chamba is around 7000 ft.
It is well know for temples. More info
Photo By Varun
To reach this place we had to make it to Bharmour. Bharmour is a small town near Chamba. There is no direct bus to Bharmour from Dalhousie, so we took a bus to Chamba. This is the second time we have come to Chamba, previously during the trek. We reached Chamba late and couldn’t get any bus to Bharmour. We halted at Chamba and took the first bus out next morning to Bharmour. The route was pretty dangerous with lots of steep bends and bumpy roads. The scenery was breathtaking. I observed that not once did the bus driver honk, something I found amusing. I come from a place where people honk to the car behind them. We reached Bharmour at
Frozen River: On the way to Kugti one can frozen rivers and falls
Photo By Uttaran
Knowing the risk involved we decided to push on. The route to Kugti was really bad and it took us nearly 2 hours to reach that place. Once there, the cab driver told us that it was 6km walk straight. It was all up hill and after a while we started feeling tired and cold. We realized that there were no humans around and it was really deserted. After 3 hours we finally managed to reach the village.
Kugti Village: A small remote village is last village in the range.
There is no road to this village. People travel on foot or mule.
There is no telephonic communication facilities.
Photo By Uttaran
The village was small but very beautiful and clean. The man in charge of the guest house refused to let us stay. We knew we were screwed. Knowing our problem the guest house in charge let us stay in his house. We realized that we had actually taken the kids room and they all had to adjust in a single room. The dinner we had there was simple but really tasty. We hit the bed at
A small shack we stayed in
Photo By Varun
We had arranged for a cab to pick us up. After a quick breakfast / lunch session we packed our bags, thanked the family for the stay and hit the road. This time it was mostly down hill. We reached the spot much earlier than we expected. After a short wait the cab arrived to pick us up. We reached Bharmour at
The Golden TemplePhoto By Varun
There is no part 5 as the return journey was not all that exciting. We were exhausted. The one thing I have not mentioned is the “Yeah” symptom. Our Junglee is know to use the term “Yeah” to express Happiness / Satisfaction etc, and now each one of us started using it for every little thing.
An Account Of Winter Trek-08 Part 3
The Trek (4 days)
Dear Diary,
Pir Panjal Ranges is the part of the middle himalayas.
This Beautiful mountain ranges can be seen on the way to Kalatop.
With a average height of 13,000 ft it a beautiful site to see.
Photo : Varun More info
The next part of the journey was much more beautiful. We again walked through the woods and it was simply amazing. Pande got used to camera settings so we decided to take our own time and were last in the group. In spite of the delays we reached the camp 2 hours early and spent sometime lying around in the sun and then we were allotted rooms to stay. I must admit it was damn cold and we had really small rooms to fit 15 people in.
Evening at Kalatop. With a height of 8500 ft its a stunning
location. The sky as seen from here is a sight to cherish.
Photo By Cheezo. More info
Despite the initial discomfort we were awed by the beauty of the place. The sky was so clear and we could see millions of stars. If only my child hood dream had come true this would have been the place to setup the research centre. Reading the previous line I am sure Pande and Cheezo would point me to a video of Randy Pausch. We were asked to join the camp fire for some rounds of singing / talent show. We were not really keen on this as were having a lot of fun pulling each others legs. We ditched it and went strolling in the park. This is when Hemanth enlightened us with some Cheezo blunders in Sar-Pass trek. The next day, was a long trek to Khajjiar, also known as the mini-Swiss of
Route To Khajjiar. 12km trek in the thick forest is good experience
Photo By Varun
Again most of the journey was through the forest. We saw kids selling flowers on the pathway. They would wait till the full group passes by and then take a shortcut to intercept us in the next stop. Cheezo was in a race with these kids, and it was a funny sight. Our hero lost badly. Again we were the last in the group, and took our time for photographs. All along we had kids running around offering porter services to trekkers. Some of the older people did use the service but rest of us refused.
Young entrepreneurs : Kids living in jungle provide various
services like tea stalls, snacks, souvenirs, and porter.
Photo By Uttaran
We reached Khajjiar in the evening and enjoyed roaming around. It’s a commercial tourist place with nothing interesting there. The camp was slightly bigger than the previous one and we had enough space in the room.
Khajjiar: Also know as the mini-swiss of India. This place was
created by an asteroid. This is a busy tourist location. More info
Photo By Cheezo
You must understand that it’s inevitable for a group of guys to stop discussing ‘A’ jokes and so the saga continued. The pinnacle was reached when there was a joke about fruits, at that moment we decided to shut up and go to bed. Ozzy realized that I was snoring and wanted to record my snore. Alas I don’t snore it was the guy next to me. They were disappointed with their failure and finally went to bed.
A beautiful island enroute Chamba valley. Chamba is little
town near Khajjiar. Chamba is a district and a commercial place
for the tourists. Photo By Arun
Chamba, our next camp was relatively close and it was all downhill. Our camp leader told us to take our time to climb down as we have small distance to cover. We were last once again. We started to pace up towards the end, not because of fear of being left behind but more so to do with the intense discussion between Myself, Cheezo and Pande.
City of Chamba. More info
Photo By Varun
Chamba valley, a big town, was our last camp. We were asked to go around Chamba and shop if needed. Once in the market area the girls did all the shopping and we were busy hunting for non-veg. We spotted a decent hotel and had our early dinner. This end of our trek, and most of the folks left to
An Account Of Winter Trek-08 Part 2
Trip to Dalhousie & Acclimatization Day
We reached Pathankot early in the morning and got ourselves good hot parathas for breakfast. After an hour wait at the bus stand we finally boarded a bus to Dalhousie. Bad roads were a way of life in HP so we dug into the minimally cushioned seats and listened to music. After an uneventful bus ride we reached Dalhousie at around
The base camp at Dalhousie. You can decent facilities and good food. A nice lawn overlooking the camp is for exercising as well as relaxing. Photo taken by Varun
After our dinner which was pretty delicious we had a camp fire without fire. Participants from the previous batch entertained us with jokes and songs. I have to admit though they were fun, we were all in a different mood. The day ended and we retired to our bunks. The next day was Acclimatization day and we were made to get up and exercise at
Stray Mountain Goat found roaming around in Dalhousie.
Picture taken by Cheezo
Aerosmith sang...
“I met a Blind Man
Who thought me how to see”,
Cleaning up Dalhousie. Thats a stupid pose though ;)
Photo taken by Varun
This is about the time when Arun managed to get his new nickname. So back in the bunkers we already started off with ‘A’ jokes and were having a blast, we even came up with very funny patentable ideas. Click here for Part 3.
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